I was distracted. It was so hard for me to focus….
I just had a huge argument with my wife. Somehow I’m supposed to collect myself and deliver an amazing sermon.
I’m reviewing my notes and I just can’t stop thinking about our argument.
Doesn’t she understand my point of view? Come on Ariel – Focus, Focus. I need to review my notes.
Too late, I’ve got to go up in front of a congregation that is expecting something from me, and honestly I have nothing to give.
If you lead in any capacity, the relationship that can most impact your ability to minister to the congregation is your relationship with your spouse. When your relationship with your spouse is in distress it affects your prayer life, it impacts how you counsel – it’s hard to help others with their issues while being distracted by your own issues.
When things are not well at home, they most likely are not well at church. So let me give you 3 tips that will help you in your relationships and thus give you the bandwidth to lead and pastor well.
These 3 tips are found in Philippians 2. Paul starts this conversation by stating, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” I believe your relationship with your spouse is the most important relationship. So here are 3 tips, or 3 aspects of having ‘the same mindset as Christ Jesus’.
- Jesus took the form of a Servant – If you’re going to lead your church well, then at home you must serve well. Jesus the Son of God – the Captain of the Angel Armies, the Great I am took the form of a servant. He said that he came to serve and notto be served.
- Husbands – do you take every opportunity to serve your wife? Have you come home after a long day of work and taken over the kids just to give her some rest?
- Wives – have you served your husbands lately, not just his food but in areas that matter most to him.
Today is a great day to find opportunities to serve your spouse. Make it your goal to out serve your spouse?
- Jesus humbled himself by taking on the appearance of a man – If there is anyone we should be willing to humble ourselves in front of it is our spouse. Especially in an argument. I remember being in the middle of a heated argument with my wife, and God said to me “you can win this argument and loose a friend.” From that point forward, it was clear to me – I cared more about my wife and her emotions then I did about winning an argument. So as difficult as it was, I had to humble myself. By humbling myself, I would put my relationship first, as opposed to putting myself first.
- Jesus became obedient until death – Our willingness to obey God, especially in our marriages, will be tested by the price it may cost us. There are moments that serving my wife, putting her needs first come at a cost to me.So here is the question, is your spouse the one you vowed your love too worth the cost. Is she worth the price that comes with obedience? Is he worth the price that comes with obedience?
The section ends by saying that the by-product of taking the form of a servant, humbling himself, being obedient until death that God exalted Jesus.
I’m convinced that God will exalt, raise up our marriages. He will also exalt and bless our churches. So today, grab your spouse and encourage them to take on the attitude of Jesus.
Would love to hear any tips you have about strengthening your marriage?