God’s Idea of Marriage
In Getting Naked Part 1, we talked about being transparent or what Genesis refers to as being naked.
When we look at our marriages, we find that the norm is to hide from one another and to hide from God.
Maybe it feels overwhelming… you may be thinking there is no way you can get back to what God originally intended for your marriage.
I want to let you know personally, that God doesn’t only want to bring your marriage, your relationship, to what it was; He wants to make it amazing!
Can we have a Genesis 2:25 marriage? If we can, how do we do it?
Confess, Pray, Heal
James 5:16 gives us a map how to return to the naked, without-shame relationship – the original structure God designed.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16 KJV)
Confessing is the opposite of covering and hiding.
It brings to light.
Confessing is an act of getting naked.
It’s humbling to admit a hurt, deed, issue, feeling, etc. It’s not easy to confess your unforgiveness, your grudge or resentment toward your spouse.
Confessing allows you to reconnect with your spouse. It’s a form of being intimate and transparent.
It helps if you confess before you’re caught or before things build up and fester in your heart.
Make confession a daily practice.
When should you confess?
Don’t wait; confess right away, at the first thought or emotion that may result in disconnecting with your spouse.
Don’t hide it.
Confess and expose it, no matter how small it seems. It starts with something minute. Don’t ignore it, bring it to the light.
Keeping silent about the truth, is the same as lying.
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” is a LIE. Don’t entertain the enemy, the father of lies.
How to react when confessed to?
Confessing should be a safe place – a place of acceptance.
It’s not the time to judge.
No penance – don’t make a person pay for what he’s done.
Don’t judge or pay back (i.e. change your Facebook Profile telling the world how you’ve been wronged). You shouldn’t make someone pay or bend over backwards to make up for what they’ve done.
Love keeps no record of wrong (1 Corinthians 3:15 KJV)
Counseling can help the conversation if there’s too much hurt. Seek counseling when dealing with abuse in relationships.
When we confess, it’s tempting to make it about us instead of identifying the issue. Confession is about taking responsibility for your actions and not blaming your spouse. If we fault our spouses, they become our enemy instead of our ally.
Certain things only come out through prayer and fasting (Mark 9:29 KVJ)
Sometimes you need to go to war and not battle against your spouse.
The issue causing the disconnection is our enemy, not our spouse! Some issues we can only overcome by praying and fasting.
Praying together as a couple is very important. Statistics show 99% of couples who pray together, stay together.
Prayer allows us to connect with our spouse and it allows us to be naked, exposed with God.
It allows us to reconnect with God.
Prayer allows us to confess to God and receive His forgiveness and healing.
There’s a divine exchange in the healing process. We take off our coverings and we receive God’s covering.
Sometimes there are consequences because of our deeds. During our confessing and healing process, we then need to face the consequences. Don’t give up, stick with the process. God wants to do something that will last.
You have to be naked in order for God to clothe you with His garments. He’s not going to add his garments on top of the layers of coverings you’ve made for yourself.
We shouldn’t feel guilt as we unclothe and unwind ourselves from our coverings because God doesn’t see us by the things we’ve done. We are covered by Jesus’ Blood. God sees us through the Blood of Jesus.
God replaces the heart of stone with the heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26).
The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. (Genesis 3:21 KJV)
God made coverings for Adam and Eve replacing the insufficient ones they had made for themselves.
That is what God wants to do.
He wants us to become naked, unclothed, exposed, so He can cover us with His coverings.
We, my wife and I, wanted a great marriage, a Genesis 2:25 marriage.
With our past baggage and life issues, it seemed almost impossible.
Over time, we had a ton of those conversations; they were so hard because I didn’t want her to know about the stuff inside me, and vice versa.
With each confession, we learned how to pray for each other. As God healed us, he was healing our marriage.
When I hugged and kissed her, she asked me, “Do you think we’ll be like this when we’re old?”
My answer was, “As long as our marriage remains a Genesis 2:25 marriage.”
It is not impossible. We need to trust God with our relationships.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:25 KJV)